Somehow once I step outside my house, a wall(of fear, perhaps) will keep me strained from being myself. Only those fortunate(or unfortunate, if you like) enough had had a glimpse of just how crazy I can be. One thing that stays true though is that I don't like shouting. And yea, that includes cheering. =.=
Back to performing, it's not like I have never performed on stage before. I had done dancing and acting in primary school. It wasn't a bad experience...I was in competitions actually(which we won btw). But of course, it was teamwork. Although...I can't say I made much difference in the group. See, that's another problem of mine, right there. I always think that I'm too insignificant that my presence is barely noticeable.
Is it my fault? Do I seem too reserved that people either act neutrally nice to me or just ignore me completely? It's not worth being mean to me anyway you know why? Yes, I'll simply ignore you. Some people don't even know my name after two years being in the same class. Bless that soul.
What DO people think of me, honestly?
Quiet and shy?
Cold and silent?
Dumb and mute?
All of the above???
DO I REALLY wanna know?
Being dull is not easy. You constantly have to supress 'expressive' feelings. It's stupid, but I can't help it. My mum says I'm square. Even SHE feels constrained when she's with me in public. I'm too...what's that word? Yes, RIGID. I guess I make people feel simply uneasy. Sometimes I find MYSELF suffocating.
Lately I've been wanting to go karaoke. Never done that. Really hope to try it sometime soon. I would evaluate the crowd's reaction to my singing and if it turns out to be an epic fail, then I can forget about singing in public ever again.
I sincerely thank those who bother to visit my blog. Leave a tag if you please, so I at least know that you readers actually exist.
Superficiality.
Cheers❤
No comments:
Post a Comment