Sappy Then, Sappy Now

I'm that person who tears at anything that tugs at my heartstrings - even just the slightest. Could be a film, a song, a commercial, even a cartoon. Apparently I've been like that since I was a kid. When I was just over a year old, my mum enrolled me to a pre-preschool(?) - TumbleTots. I've heard the story lots of times, and I heard it again yesterday.

My birthday fell on one of the lesson days. The teachers got me a cake and gathered everyone around; the kiddies, their parents. When they sang 'Happy Birthday' to me, I just started crying. Of course, I don't remember how I cried exactly, but I could imagine. The kind of tears that stream down involuntarily, soon accompanied by soft sniffles. Cause that's how I still cry now. One of the teachers (who adored me - I was the chubbiest, quietest kid) exclaimed "Aww...you're so emotional!" Yup, I am alright.

This reminds me of another recurring incident in my childhood, but one that I could clearly remember. Every time someone sang Barney's 'I Love You' song when I was going to bed, I would cry. Every. Time. It just happens.

I think this is one trait that I would never outgrow.

Oh Wow

It's 2015. And here I am. Having an impulse to post something.

I randomly checked my blog and stumbled upon a comment that I didn't realise was sent two years ago. Then I was surprised by my view counts. People actually do read this shit. Intentionally or otherwise.

I began reading the 'popular' posts. If there's one thing I realised in life, is that everything does happen for a reason. Every little seemingly insignificant moment. Three years ago, I couldn't get into a Psychology elective module that I wanted to take. Now, I'm in my 3rd year majoring in Psychology. And it's not because I want to do Psychology specifically in life, but that I've always had an interest in it. What I do want to do (or continue doing), is to write. Fiction. And preferably on-screen.

It's interesting to see how one has changed over the years, and then realise right after that there wasn't much change at all. You are still the same person at heart.

Right now, my mind is buzzing with all kinds of thoughts. One of which is to maybe, just maybe, I should continue writing here. Because god knows who's reading this.

P.S. I am learning swimming. I finally came around to it. On 29 Sep 2014. And now I'm down to the last three lessons. ):

A Fan Account

I cannot stop thinking about him. It was too brief a moment. My eyes, my mind, cannot register all of him in that split second of a handshake. I know, I know, I’m lucky enough to at least get a handshake. Still. If I were to describe the scene, here’s how it goes: I walked calmly in line, careful not to get my feet tangled in the mess of streamers on the floor. My hand was slipped into the front pocket of my bag, ready to get the paper crane I folded him. As I slowly reached the stage, I fumbled for the crane and dropped it into a box that was held out, noticing how flat it is. Pathetic, almost. I didn’t have time to dwell on it – I was mere steps away from meeting my idol. / Yes. My idol. Kim Hyun Joong. The man (in white) who made me love Korea and everything about it. Who made me love him. / I quickly reached the steps to the stage. My heart wasn’t pounding, I’m not sure if it was actually even beating. It was still. I mounted the slightly steep steps carefully, holding on to the unsteady railing. The ushers (or whatever they’re called) were rushing me, or rather the fans. And then I’m up. I looked up. Everything’s a blur – until I focused on his face. My feet were already approaching him, at their own will. Although my mind was fuzzy, I remember thinking that I must be rather slow, as the fan before me was already going off the stage. And Hyun Joong is waiting eagerly for the next fan – for me. / I said ‘eagerly’ because that was how he looked. Eager. An eager smile. An arm ready to reach out. A hand ready to slip into yet another fan’s. Into mine. / I didn’t have time to look him once over. The first thing I saw up close was his hand. Which I automatically take. It was soft, just as I have always imagined. And warm, too. Mine must be cold, from the sickness, not nervousness, because I wasn’t at all. I glanced up to look at his face, his whole face, not just his eyes. I didn’t have time for that, one of the many little things I regret. I mouthed "thank you”, like I had planned. I know I didn’t say it aloud. I think I caught a look passing his face. Confusion? Maybe he thought he couldn’t hear me. I know he thanked me too, but not because I heard it. But because I read his lips. And then I pulled my hand away and walked off. Just. Like. That. The wide smile that I had on my face as soon as I spotted his, wilted away. I didn’t feel any emotion for a long while. And then it hit me. And I tripped and grazed my knee on the rough concrete ground. (Sorry, paragraphing didn't work.)

Ignore My Last Two Posts

They're stupid.

Life's good.

Hehe.

Mhm.

(:

What's that? Why don't I just delete them?

Well, because words said can't be taken back in real life.

Also because I'm a narcissistic writer who falls in love with her own words.

So long good fellas!

10 Words That Describe Me

FAT

DETESTABLE

UNFRIENDLY

AWKWARD

NEEDY

INFERIOR

UNMOTIVATED

UGLY

INSECURE

PATHETIC

Sometimes I Wonder

Who the fuck cares if you can cook?

Or who gives a damn if you vacuum and mop the house every week?

Guys only look at your boobs/butt/curves and think of having sex with you.

You're right. Guys do think I'm revolting.

HAHA.

Now excuse me while I continue vacuuming with the vacuum that doesn't suck up the dirt, fully knowing that my efforts are just wasted.

And who the hell reads this?

The Last 10 Days

In Ramadan aka the Fasting Month, we have something called 'Lailatul Qadar', where in the last ten days of Ramadan, there is one 'Night of Destiny'. Read more of it here.

After my Sahur (Pre-dawn meal), I played random games on my iPhone till I fell asleep.

I dreamed that my cousins are staying over, my mum came home late and that I had to meet her to buy food for Sahur. But I forgot my wallet (or something) and I had to go back to my house.

But the lifts seem to have a problem and my neighbours and I were afraid that it would break down. Unfortunately, I was left alone because I live on the highest level.

And I was freaking out.

Fortunately, I reached my level safely and I ran to my house.
I was grappling with the keys.
Then my late grandmother appeared, all smiles, taking the keys and opening the gate for me.

In my mind, I know that it's not real and that I should probably be freaking out.

But all I could feel was relief.

I instantly hugged her once I entered.

In my mind, I was still thinking whether anyone else could see her.

It felt so good, so real.

And then my mum woke me up for morning prayer.

In my groggy state, the dream hit me and I realised that my arms were positioned in a way as though I'm hugging someone (I was sleeping sideways).

You should know what happened next.

---

She looked a little thin, with her usual short cropped hair.

But she looked really happy.

---

This is the only one that 'magically' lives while other plants die.

Apparently my next-door neighbour waters and looks after it.

My mum wanted to give her but she refused.

My grandfather bought that for my grandmother.

And everybody seems to know that.

---

Today is the 21st night.

Epiphany 2.0

And this time it's real.

I think I have a fear of being forgotten, or Athazagoraphobia.

I realised this since I've been thinking a lot about school. The end is near.

And I don't wanna be forgotten.

So...what just happened?

Fever, flu, cough, sore throat, diarrhea, nausea. Wth is wrong with me?? DX

I realised that every time I wear my smiley green pendant I would have a bad day.

I still feel bad about missing out on important things in school.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Please be a better day.

Love everyone who cared for me.

♥

Sulzberger is a sick puppy. )):

321 Sighhh~

I admire these girls. How graceful.

Can't embed the video. Click here.

Back By Popular Demand

I'm feeling sick. I don't know which part hurts exactly, or if I'm hurting at all. More like nauseous. Haiz.

In a Secret Garden marathon with my cousin but I realized that I don't really like watching the same drama twice.

I really wanna better myself.

My appearance, my attitude, my...what else is there? Well anyway, I always do things halfway, I'm fond of last-minute backouts, and I've hurt a lot of people because of that.

Now I feel like taking up driving lessons. I don't intend to actually drive, never thought of having a car. I don't want this to add to my already long list of Wasted Efforts (guitar, swimming, skating, Chinese, French...) Does anyone want to take up this challenge with me?

I really admire Gil Raim. She's a total opposite of me.

And yes, shoe-hunting was a fail (as expected). FML.

Let's end on a positive note:

.
.
.

Omg I can't think of any.

(:

This'll do.

A Good Day

"A good day is when I go to bed happy."

I agree with the above quote, that I recently heard.

Today was a good day.

I managed to finish three interviews all in a day.

I did a lot better than I expected in a test.

I hugged someone that I have been wanting to hug for a long time, and cried in the toilet after.

I had pink dolphin, egg tofu and a mini corny dog for a late lunch.

I read that Beast's Junhyung and Kara's Hara are dating (totally unexpected but really happy for them).

I shared bubblegum with horoscope on the wrapper in class.

I discovered there are sockets at the side of the stone bench at Food Haven Café.

I had a long chat that wasn't meant to be recorded.

I had Charco's for dinner.

I can't wait for my ice-cream date tomorrow.

And I can safely say that joining DTVM was the best decision that I have made so far in my life.

Happy Birthday Kerri♥

Just Some Thoughts...

I'm like Kung Fu Panda. Food motivates me.

For fangirls, when an idol hugs you, do not hug him back. Leave your hands hanging. It shows that you're not too eager thus you will get less haters from jealous fans. And from what I see, if you don't hug back, they would usually hold you longer.

Chasing, Entrapment, Escaping. Things I'm dealing with in stories and life.

I should transcribe everything first, then translate. If not it's double the work.

Never trust kids fully.

I hate mixing-up my memories. Now I don't know if the boy I kissed is the same boy I shared a stool with in the bus.

Two things that can wake me up on weekends: A Kpop song (esp Sorry Sorry or Bonamana) and smell of food (eggs...yum).

Two things that usually wake me up on weekdays: Mum's spankings/pokings/pinches/the 'hair dryer treatment'. Choose two and above.

"I miss your voice tapi in the end pun aku yang banyak cakap." Thanks for the stories, the laughter, the encouragement and everything else in between. I'm gonna miss you. <3

I know you're lurking. I really hope you get to 100 cause I love knowing more about you, one fact at a time.

And you have gorgeous pictures ("noona pedo for you". Indeed.)

Oh, I WUV U too. <33

I'm not really good at taking requests. But I'll try my best.

The best thing about Playful Kiss is the bear scenes. As much as I love you and you'r my '#1 hubby', I still think you're stiff and that the character is really similar to you. So there really isn't much acting.

For those who wants a season two, you guys are dumb.

I have a lot inferences in everything I post online. It may be good or bad, tapi
SIAPA YANG MAKAN CILI DIA YANG TERASA PEDAS.

I shall not leave you out then.
800 in less than three weeks konon.
BOLEH BLAH!

I think I've said enough, haven't I?

Egg Shell.

I've been feeling so fragile lately.

Anything can tick me off.

I don't even know why and how it started.

The three days in Bintan took me away from reality and I didn't even realize that I don't miss home until I stepped foot in the house.

I shouldn't care about someone who dgaf about their 'loved' ones.

I don't know anymore.

But you know, hugs make the world a lot better.

So thanks for the people who have been hugging me.

I Don't Feel Good

Sometimes, the person you love the most is the hardest to love.

I always seem to think that a 'good person' has to be perfect. In any case, I am so far from that. From 'good' I mean.

You cannot like a person wholly. There must be some things that you just hate about the person. But usually you try to overlook it.

This song has been playing for the past 3564546532 hours (on iTunes and YouTube). I know it's Korean and some of you are turned off by it but please, this is something that everyone has to hear. It's a ballad, at least. Not the candy Kpop that blasts from at least one shop at every mall. Below the video is the English translation of the lyrics. This is my favourite version out of all the three I've listened to on YouTube.

Original Singer: Shin Sung Woo - 서시 SeoShi (Prologue/Prelude/The First Poem)
This video is a fan-remix of the original version and a cover by Kim Jaejoong (Google pictures of 'KIM JAEJOONG Elle'. You won't regret it. Promise.)

Anyway...



English Translation
Before the sun rose I was going to leave.
From landscape of the hill where you and I were.
Where with a very small heart we drew the world as we dreamed and there you told me.
Now you are having to leave on a trip, my special friend.

Of course we had many quarrels and made misunderstandings through sculptures but instead with only a great smile.

You became me, and I became you in those thousands of memories.

I'll always stand here, so that as you walk if you become weak, you can see me.
I'll wait over there on top of that star, so that you can see my heart which loves you.

You became me, and I became you in those thousands of memories.

I'll always stand here, so that as you walk if you become weak, you can see me.
I'll wait over there on top of that star, so that you can see my heart which loves you.

I'll always stand here, so that as you walk if you become weak, you can see me.
I'll wait over there on top of that star, so that you can see my heart which loves you.

~

Now I know that the English is not perfect but you get the idea.

Extra Info
Start~2:30 => Jaejoong
2:31~3:06 => Sung-woo
3:07~3:34 => Jaejoong & Sung-woo
3:35~End => Sung-woo

*Note: Some people have said that this is a remix of Jaejoong and Super Junior's Kim Heechul. It does sound like him though but since it's not a video video I'm not too sure either. :/

In any case...If you like what you heard I suggest you YouTube it and listen to other versions (another awesome cover: Yesung Immortal Song 2).

.
.
.

Erm, yea. I blanked out. I always blank out nowadays. I have no idea why.

Bye.

Better Than Nothing?

Hey guys! What's up? Miss me? lol. Here to deliver a quickie.

I was doing my Filmmaking assignment when a naughty thought entered my head. No, not *that* kind of naughty. I just toyed with the idea of skipping my GEMS class cause I need to watch Amélie (the film I'm working on for the assignment) like, twice and crap a thousand words afterward. And I really want to get this printed by tonight. Submission's tomorrow. Sigh.

So as I was contemplating, I stood up for a breather and a stretch when my eyes focused on one of the dozen pictures of Kim Hyun Joong on my cupboard. And yes, I instinctively kissed the picture. And another one. And another one. And I thought I should get myself a bf before I go even more delusional. Then BAM! Another thought in my head.

I delved into Google and looked up 'kissing machines'. Guess what I found?

//

**BREAKING**

This just in. Suly exercises the expression 'an eye for an eye' via a text message and she triumphantly announces to the world. Good for you, Suly!

\\

Back to what I was typing. Watch the following video:



Ain't that sad??

HOMFG.

But hey, if KIM HYUN JOONG were to use that machine, I bet it would sell like hotcakes. Nope, not gonna buy one. For all you know they station a dog to do the 'fanservice'.

With that, I just wasted my 100th post on the sad fact that a lot of people in this world are FOREVER ALONE.

D':

//

Hey look! It's 12:30! And I'm still in my cosy little room. You know what that means? Goodbye GEMS, see you next week (I hope)!

\\

*off to chiong Amélie and have more sex fantasies*

Despicable Me >:[

I'm the type of person who if I want something, I want it RIGHT NOW. And if I want more than one thing (and they're related), I want them ALL AT ONCE.

Remember my Wishlist post at 2:31AM on Tuesday, April 5, 2011? Well it's been a month.

Unlike a goal-setting list, or a New Year Resolutions list, or whatever list that requires you to aim for something unachievable (and you know it, you're just fooling yourself), a WISHLIST is something that is changeable (the items, I mean) AND totally attainable.

These are what the ungrateful bitch has so far:

iPhone4 White 32GB

Dorian - Stitch Valentines Day Gray Birko (a bonus, really)

HeartVest iPhone 4 Cover (Agnès B Flying Heart Case is F****** sold out)

Bruno Mars' Doo-Wops & Hooligans Album

Faddy Robot - Messy Faddy Hoody in White

Someone please get me this. I'll love you forever.

tmrwillbeagoodday.tmrwillbeagoodday.tmrwillbeagoodday

Journey On Foot

As I walk to and from school every day (unless it rains), I'm beginning to see the little things in life that the usual busy person are blinded to. I reflected on a talk I attended in school this evening, 'What's a good film in the age of New Media?' by US Filmmakers Andrew Okpeana MacLean & Rashaad Ernesto Green. 'Like' this on Facebook. I would love to catch it one day.

Suddenly, something jumped near my feet. The small frog seemed to be as surprised as I was. Simultaneously, I stepped to my left as it hopped to its right. We then continued on our respective journeys. This reminded me of a similar incident this morning. I was walking along the long path at the highway, when a black butterfly flutters from my left and made a swift circle as it 'u-turns' out of my way. Sometimes I feel that animals/insects are more understanding than humans. After all, we are creatures of the earth.

When you're tired and stressed out in life, take a walk in the evening. The cool night zephyr, the darkness enveloping the surroundings, the sound of vehicles zooming past, rushing to nowhere. I feel a sense of superiority every time a vehicle slows down for me to cross. That said, I don't take my own sweet time crossing the road. To me, it's a sign of respect and gratitude for both the driver and the pedestrian when the former slows down and the latter speeds up his walking pace.

I also enjoy brushing the mimosas lightly with my shoe and watch as it slowly closes up, or stop and stare at the clovers, trying to spot a 'four-leaf' one on the way to school. I have considered making a film about 'the little joys in life' where it starts with a low-angle track of feet walking on a path. Maybe the path that I have become so familiar with.

You know, I think Filmaking was the right choice.

Just Gotta Share This

I've been searching frantically for details of this Dongwoon(Beast)/Kyuhyun(Super Junior)/Jonghun(FT Island) lookalike but to no avail. ):

My gawwwd he's hawt!

Half-Korean-Half-Egyptian.

Click on this link to see him in action. http://world.kbs.co.kr/arabic/program/program_starinterview_detail.htm?No=20868

He's KBS World's Arabic translator.

Honey☆'s Hubby

Name: Onew (Lee Jinki)
Age: 22 (this year on December 14)
Group: Shinee
Position: Leader
Kyo-ness: Exceptional



Apparently he was late for Yahaengsung (Night Star) recording (tsk tsk). lol. Poor boy has to rush here and there for his schedules. The most amazing thing about this is that he said it per-fect-ly. ♥

P.S. Invite me to your wedding please, I wanna squish Taeminnie kthnxbai.